Sapphire City - Pepsi IPL May 7th 2014, Delhi

Walking down The Blue Brick Road

What would Dorothy have to say

Today I visited sapphire city

‘Twas Pepsi IPL

And Blue was the day

Pepsi cans @10 cooling Delhi

But that's what blue does to u

Don't it?

Red feeling the heat

Are you "happy" about that too?

C'mon Now, gimme a smile.

Cool & ‘Thanda’ are not the same thing now, are they?

Boys and Girls

Uncles and Aunties

Corporates and freebies

Everyone's a junkie

Shades & Hair Styles

Feel Great, Look good

Gangs of Girls

Many guys, One Dude

Girls dressed down

Guys dressed up

Dew & Aqua

Trop & 7Up

Selfies, Selfies, Selfies, Selfies

Clicking, Smiling, Cheesing, Posing

Restless Teens, Cheering Loud

4 not good enough, 6 in the Cloud

Kids watching Mums

Mums watching dads

Dads watching item girls

But only just a tad

... and Cops watching everyone

Meeting friends

Hanging out

Music and dance

Strategic time out

Feeling hot summer heat

Noting better than a Bollywood beat

Item numbers with Firangi items

DD band desi ek dum

Abey Saalon, Band ko dekhtein nahin uske saamney naachhtey Hain

Only Now.

Nothing before

Never after

Cricket action

Or action cricket

Happily Ever After

IPL Haves. End of Now. Start of Next.

IPL Have Nots. Wonder Outside. What is next

IPL Haves. Back to Life

IPL Have nots. Excitement Passing By

IPL Haves. Will be back for more

Have nots. Try again for sure

Walking out Blue’d, You Look All Around...

Blue was the sideways, Blue was the shops

Blue was the walkways, And even the bus stops

I was in Sapphire city today.

I was in Pepsi City today 

Dhoom 3, 2013

Ten years is a long time. And in 10 years, we have seen a complete transformation of India - the economy (we are twice the GDP we were 10 years ago), the society (people living in cities has doubled), the politics (no one party can command a national vote bank), the entertainment (over 1000 films every year & over 300 TV channels today). I could say we live in an entirely different India today than we did 10 years ago.

Ask anyone and they will say that our world has changed. And yet somehow, the one movie franchise that, in many ways, marked the coming of age of  a stylised, Hollywood-ishtyle, cool action flick in Bollywood, has not. 

Dhoom 1 in 2004 was one of the coolest movies that Bollywood had made in a long time. You realise how cool the movie was when you think that you actually didn't mind even Uday Chopra and Esha Deol in it. The formula was simple: bikes, chases, heist, a cop who was cool (not pot bellied for a change) and a bad guy, who you equally rooted for. (The Tata Young song was just an icing on the cake). And oh yes, Abhishek Bachchan was cool then, too.

Dhoom 2 in 2006 also kept to the brief with bikes, chases, heist, cool cop, cooler bad guy, and amp'ed it up several notches - glam quotient with an almost-sexy Aishwarya Rai and pretty-boy Hrithik Roshan and epic locations like Rio and São Paulo 

Dhoom 3, in 2013, however falters for the same reason why Dhoom 1 and 2 worked. D3 did "stick" to the brief - bikes, chases and heist in an epic location like Gotham City (Chicago, in case you're wondering) with a glamorous babe (this time Katrina Kaif) and plenty of special effects and stunts. But as a result, it also got "stuck" in time.

Any movie buff will tell you that there are two unwritten rules for a tri-quel to succeed. One, if it is the 3rd in the series and there's likely to be more later, then it needs to break the formula for it to work. Essentially, the third in the series has to break away from its past for it to have a life of its own. Great example in recent times of this is Iron Man 3 (see my review
http://www.books-booze-boxoffice.blogspot.in/2013/05/iron-man-3.html )

However, if the 3rd instalment is the final episode in the trilogy, then the triquel needs to go back to the source of the first movie, like say The Dark Night Rises, or The Return of the King (LOTR) or Scream 3 (remember Wes Craven's awesome scary flick) or even Ocean's 13.

Dhoom 3, unfortunately does neither. It stays too close to D1 and D2, and just superficially adds on gadgets, stunts, smart dialogues and Aamir Khan, all of which feel unnecesssary, irrelevant and plain annoying, respectively.

The movie is about Sahir (played by Aamir Khan) who, after witnessing his father's suicide at the hands of a ruthless banker's rejection of a loan, vows to avenge him by robbing banks and using the money to re-open and glorify the "The Great Indian Circus" (his father's dream). He robs one branch after another (but only of the same evil Western Bank of Chicago, which is still headed by the same manager after 20 years!), scales up the show to great success and glory, recruits the gorgeous dancer-cum-assistant-cum-lover-cum-acrobat-cum-magician  Aaliya (Katrina), and even makes headlines as the mysterious crime-master "joker" (god bless Heath Ledger, may he R.I.P) who leaves behind signature messages (in Hindi, if you please!) in Chicago to the American police force and media. So far so good!

Then enters the cop from India Jai, (Abhishek Bachchan) and his side-kick Ali (Uday Chopra) who are specially brought in from Mumbai to Chicago to solve this crime that the FBI can't! While inspector Jai and Ali feel like the super-competent cops from India (they are even given a gori porn-star-turned-FBI-agent as their assistant), we know the only reason they are here is because nobody in FBI could really read Hindi.

Like every time, it becomes a personal fight between Jai and the bad guy, where the bad guy keeps getting away (with melo dramatic, James Bond like chases with stunt vehicles in land and water), till Jai discovers Sahir's mystery and how he is able to be in 2 places at once (tough to guess that one!). What follows then is an inevitable plot of traps being set (both emotional and real) by Jai, inter-twined by a love-story between Aamir and Katrina, that finally leads to Sahir surrendering and Katrina taking on the legacy to keep the magic show going on, for the love of her lover's father's love (!) (and I suppose for the big bucks the show was making)

It feels like Christopher Nolan was the brief, with copious "inspiration" from The Dark Night for the feel of Chicago and some action sequences (like the bike duel between Aamir and Abhishek and the bad guy calling himself The Joker, arrrgh!) and from Prestige, for the plot, the storyline, the surprise element and ofcourse the entire setting being that of a grand magic show on stage. But, nakal mein bhi akal chahiye, and you quickly find yourself apologising to Nolan, sitting in the hall.

Perhaps the real mystery could have been that it was all a communication mistake. Jackie Shroff (as Sahir's dad) can barely speak clearly anyway through his Bagpiper mouth. On top of that he tried to speak in English in a strange Americanised Indian English accent, trying to convince a banker on collateral, loans & on his financial credibility and assets. No wonder the poor banker didn't get what the man was ranting on and on about, till he finally shot himself! And then Aamir goes about seeking revenge, robbing banks and leaving messages in Hindi. Can you really blame the Americans for not really getting it! Imagine the torture we would have been saved if they only communicated in English.

So, why doesn't the  movie work you still ask? Well...

If Dhoom is about great action and stunts that get your adrenaline going, D3 action sequences are lame, been-there-done-that and too gimmicky to make a real impact. Dear Vijay Acharya (Director), slo mo does NOT make an action sequence wow! 

If Dhoom is about clever heists, not a single heist is shown in operation. You only see an Aamir biking away after robbing the same bank in the same way, with a trademark intense look.

If Dhoom is about cool dudes and dudettes, in a biker-gang, under-ground sort of way, then the casting bombs in a big way. Abhishek Bachchan looks like "has-been", trying too-hard to keep a straight face thru the dialogues, with some strange hair-thing going on his head that is distracting. Then there is Uday Chopra, a "never-been" with same dialogues of mummy and wanting to get married to the slutty chick in the movie, and with no hair on his head (what happened there Uday? Wait, we don't really care). 

But, finally there is the piece-de-resistance, the one thing that could have saved this movie, becomes the biggest disappointment - (and I never thought I'd say this) - Aamir Khan, the "been-there" guy. What happened dude? (And this we do care). Between the double role of the intense, clever, revenge-seeking Sahir and the clichéd mentally-challenged Samar (autistic Dustin Hoffman joke-of-a-copy from The Rainman), Aamir puts out a blooper. His muscled up body also doesn't make an impact on the character (unlike in Ghajini) and is just there as a show piece for everyone to clap to. He even stereo-types the 2 looks - one a frowned intense look (think Fanaa) and the other (brace yourself) - wide eyed with tongue sticking out! For someone who made Taare Zameen Par, you would expect a more real portrayal of a character that has a medical mental abnormality. Aamir, we'll put D3 in the box of your movies we quickly want to forget (like Fanaa and Raja Hindustani). When's your next one coming out?

The only saving grace (never thought I'd say this either) in the movie is actually Katrina Kaif, who comes as a breath of fresh air, and feels like (again never ever thought I'd say this) the only real thing in the movie. She plays the earnest starry-eyed new performer role well. She's really learned to dance and move like a diva and she puts that on display full-too. It's another thing that she was quite irrelevant to the main plot or story. Pity!

The music is the other big disappointment. Not one song is enjoyable or even hummable after the movie. Both D1 and D2 had good music that lived longer. And in D3, you feel bad at some nice glitzy performances in the movie (like the Aamir-Katrina stage flying act, and Katrina's solo locking-and-popping) that could have had a much longer-lasting impact, had it been performed on better music.

You realise how sad the movie really is at the climax scene, when you are supposed to be wondering if they will die or not, will they redeem themselves, will it be a happy ending, what will happen.. And you realise the only thing you really care about by that point, is how quickly can you get to the parking lot, so you don't get stuck behind other cars... 

I suppose all I can say...

"Bundey Hain Hum Uske, Hum Pe Kiska Zor

Is Movie Ne Humko Bahut Kiya Bhai Bore"

Raanjhana Ki Aashiqui2

2013 sees a revival in the almost-forgotten Bollywood genre of love and romance. There was a time when you could call every movie a love story (remember Gadar bhi ek prem katha thi), but between Salman Khan block buster action movies, Rohit Shetty’s mind-numbing laugh riots, Farhan Akhtar’s identity sagas and Aamir Khan’s clever escapades, we’ve gone through the last few years without really a love story movie (unless you call Rockstar a love-story, which it isn’t really, see my review http://www.books-booze-boxoffice.blogspot.in/2011/12/rockstar-2011.html or Jab Tak Hai Jaan, which I haven’t cared to watch yet because it has SRK)

But, 2013 finds itself declaring ‘love is in the air’, with a slew of movies revolving around romance - from Yeh Jawaani Hai Diwani, to Shuddh Desi Romance (which just released & I will be reviewing it next). But, this review is about 2 specific movies that came out this year (as you would have guessed from the title) - Raanjhana and Aashiqui2. I was struck by the uniqueness and uncanny similarities between the two movies and it felt  only appropriate to write about them together as well.                                                                      

I suppose the story of Raanjhana shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, Dhanush had already made the story popular through his viral music number that made him famous in the first place. Essentially, Raanjhana is “Why This Kolaveri Di” in 2.5 hours. “white skin girl-u girl-u... eyes eyes meet-u meet-u... my future dark-u.... eyes full of tear-u... empty life, girl come, life reverse gear-u... god, i am dying now-u, she is happy how-u... this song for soup boys-u, we don’t have choice-u”... these words are an apt summary of the movie.

The story is set against the back-drop of small-but-iconic city of Benares, where Kundan (Dhanush) falls in love with Zoya (Sonam) in school (they are dressed in school uniforms to make sure you don’t miss that) - puppy teen romance. With the family disapproving of Zoya’s school love affair, she is sent to study in Lucknow, & after that to JNU, Delhi, where she finds her true ‘adult’ love Akram ne Jasjeet (Abhay Deol). Unfortunately for Kundan, while Zoya has moved on with her life, Kundan has not & after trying really hard to win Zoya back, finally gives into his broken heart & concedes victory to Akram, who he thinks has the ‘religion’ advantage to wed Zoya. But, the story takes a turn, when on the day of the wedding, he finds out himself & reveals to Zoya’s family that Akram is actually a Hindu (Jasjeet), after which Jasjeet gets beaten to death by Zoya’s relatives & biradri-waaley. What ensues is Zoya’s hatred for Kundan, who finds his way back into her life, as part of the college political theatre in Delhi, that was Jasjeet’s legacy, and actually starts making amends by progressing Jasjeet’s political agenda, and in a much better way than Zoya herself. But Zoya is a tough nut to crack and it is only till the very end that Zoya doesn’t melt, and Kundan has to finally give his life amidst a political riot to finally make her realise how much he loved her.

Complicated, and long winded, did I hear you say? Yup. The movie was a lot of hard work, I must say, both for Kundan and the audience. But, if complicated & hard-work is not your cup of tea, then sample the other end of the spectrum, Aashiqui 2, which is amazingly simple & linear. 

Aashiqui 2 is the story of super-famous rock-star singer Rahul (Aditya Roy Kapoor), who after peaking in his career, has become a bad-tempered alcoholic (no one really knows why!). He bumps into Arohi (Shraddha Kapoor) drunk after a concert, also sees her singing & falls in love head-over-heels with her. He decides to take upon himself the task of making the world see her talent & adopts her as his protege, training her as well as moving mountains with his contacts to make sure she gets a break. He gets deeper & deeper in love with her, as she rises to become a super-star singer herself. What follows is a series of hi-intensity ups & downs in their relationship attributed to the conflict between his deep love for Arohi & insecurity & envy of her career growth, which is only made lethal because of his alcohol addiction. Finally, ofcourse love wins & the lovers lose, as Rahul, realising his helplessness with his addiction, gives up his life to liberate Arohi, who had declared to him that she would chose her self-destruction with him rather than being (happy) without him.

Both movies are actually quite well-made and are very watchable. The stories are well told, that keep you engaged through the movie. In Raanjhana, because so much is happening and in Aashiqui2, because there is nothing happening (they fight, they cry, they hug, they can’t live without each other, they get back, they cry). Both movies have beautiful moments between the lead pair, that make you feel their passionate (in case of Aashiqui) & pure (in case of Raanjhana) love. Both movies put selflessness right at the heart of what it means to love, and romances the idea of loving someone without asking for anything in return. And therefore, both movies have a quirky nostalgia value that romances the idea of romance itself, and that’s why they work. Both movies ask you, as the viewer, to invest a little bit of your own emotions into the story and the characters. That’s also why they leave you feeling cheated at the end when it doesn’t end in a happy-ever-after.

But, watching both movies also makes you realise why we’d forgotten about making love stories for a while. Because both movies remind us that you can’t be happy if you’re following your heart and chasing your true love. And despite the sane advice the world is giving you (embodied in the hero’s friend & his don’t-chase-that-girl-or-she-will-be-your-end advice in both movies), if you do choose to stick to your pig-headed obsession with the girl, you have only yourself to blame for the pain and the eventual death you have brought upon yourself. And if after all that hard work (for three long hours), if it’s only going to end up in the bliss of the other-life (which both movies again seem to romance), then is there any point to it all?

Both movies also give us some really good performances. Dhanush, as Kundan, gives an endearing & impactful performance. Despite his heavy Southie accent, you easily believe that he is a local Benarsi (may be his Tamil parents moved to Benares when he was young). He is soft, angry, cheeky, innocent, helpless, pathetic, loud, passive-aggressive, desi, funny, street-smart through the movie, and he moves effortlessly through these many emotions. A good Bollywood start for Dhanush. Whether he will be able to play any other kind of role, though remains to be seen. 

Also convincing performances by Swara Bhaskar as Bindiya (who is in love with Kundan since childhood & again selflessly loves him one-sided through the movie, and possibly the only one who grieves the most in the end), Mohd Zeeshan Ayoob, as Murari, Kundan’s childhood best friend, with well-meaning advice that is never heeded to. Even Shilpi Marwah as Rashmi (Jasjeet’s grieving sister) gives a subtle-yet-intense performance. Abhay Deol is fine too. The only one that doesn’t really fire, unfortunately, is the reason why the entire movie happens - Sonam Kapoor, as Zoya. After seeing her in Milkha and now in Raanjhana, I think it’s safe to say that she really can’t act, and may be should find her calling in the fashion industry. She looks cute, but emotes unconvincingly when she’s not-in-love with Kundan & when she is angry with him, and when she is giving him lectures & platitudes, and even when finally he dies. Pity!

Aashiqui 2 also gives intense and powerful performances. Aditya Roy Kapur as Rahul has done a decent job, though there is an element of a hamming dialogue delivery that gets a bit annoying at times, when he comes home drunk yet again. Shraddha Kapoor, as Arohi, is a pleasant surprise. Her under-stated dialogues and emotions cut through quite well, and gives a promising start in Bollywood. Never-mind the fact, that we are no longer used to seeing women lead characters playing door-mat lover to the hero (which does get a bit annoying at times, when you feel like standing up and say ‘stand up woman, don’t take this shit from him’). Shaad Randhawa as Rahul's friend Vivek looks like a bumbling idiot, but does a decent job of playing the role of a friend trying desperately to save Rahul from himself. There was also a potentially powerful performance that we kept waiting for to happen, but doesn’t - which is Rahul’s dad. There are many phone calls through the movie that Rahul makes to his dad about how he is lost, miserable, unhappy (and once happy) & we hear his dad saying, ‘I’m coming’ and he never does. May be we have to wait for Aashiqui 3 for that.

But, Raanjhana & Aashiqui2 are different in two important ways. The one big difference is the music. The haunting music by newcomers Mithoon, Jeet & Ankit lifts the movie many-fold and gives the movie a lasting quality that haunts you weeks after you have seen the movie. The music gives you the feeling of Rahul’s ‘after-life’, which reminds you of the story of the movie, as you hear it again & again in Arijit Singh’s melancholy voice. The music captures the essence of the film, with every nuance of the pathos captured - the euphoric highs of love and depressive lows of love. The movie wouldn’t be half as impactful, if it wasn’t for the music. Raanjhana’s music, despite being A R Rahman, disappoints & doesn’t last at all. As a result, you forget the movie much faster. 

The other big difference between the 2 movies, is in their portrayal of the centre-piece: the woman. While the hero is a helpless lover in both movies, the women couldn’t be more different. Zoya is an independent, strong-minded woman who believes in love as not only a blind meeting of hearts, but a convergence of common interests, passions & beliefs. For her love is as much about the mind as it is about the heart and she seeks an equal relationship with a man. And that’s why she could never have been with Kundan. By contrast, Arohi is a woman of the 80s (like Jaya Bhaduri in Abhimaan, though that was 1973), who believes in blind love over-powering the mind, who has the talent & the temperament to be successful, but puts her man before everything else. As the movie ends, we know that Zoya will recover from her losses (& even from her guilt for sending Kundan to his death) & move on, but we are not sure if Arohi will ever recover & move on to a better life. And therein lies the biggest difference between the two. 

All in all, you may like the stories in these movies or not. You may like the characters or they may irritate the shit out of you. You may like the music or get put off by them. You may wonder why the names of the movies were what they were (Don’t Heer & Raanjha BOTH die in the legend? And what was common with Aashiqui 1 except for the producers & the kissing-under-the-coat poster) But, for all the hopeless romantics out there (I am one of them), both these movies speak to that part of you that still is in love with the idea of love, and for that reason alone, these movies must be seen, because if we stop believing in love, what can we believe in?

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, July 2013

Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra (or ROM as he seems to be calling himself these days) does it again, after faltering in his last disaster, Delhi-6, a couple of years back. Bhaag Milkha Bhaag is an outstanding movie that, like Rang De Basanti, reminds you of your Indian-ness in a true, right-at-the-heart sort of way. Only an Indian could have enjoyed RDB. In a similar way, BMB is again exclusively Indian. And that makes the film special and ours. We once again see a refreshing intensity juxtaposed against simple story-telling, the same ingredient that made Rang De Basanti, the phenomenon it became.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag is the simple story of a simple guy from a simple farming family in Multan, that gets uprooted during the partition and after growing up amidst the squalor, humility and misery of a refugee camp in Punjab, finds a life-changing love (Sonam Kapoor), that leads him into the righteous path of a proper career in the army, where he finds his true calling as an athlete, a sprinter, a 400m champion. He wins, he loses, he wins again. But above all, he fights. Fights real hard.

It's the story of a legend who, for all of my generation, was a household name. We've all grown up knowing, admiring and aspiring to be the first fastest runner that India knew. There is only one Milkha Singh, and this movie tells the most definitive and involving story of his life.

One of the reasons why this movie works is because at the heart of it, it is the human ‘ideal’ that we all aspire to. The story of an ordinary guy transforming into an extraordinary hero, through sheer grit, hard-work and a pig-headed obsession with his ambition. It's the great Indian story that we all (want to) believe in. And indeed have believed in, while growing up. And that's why Milkha's story resonates so powerfully with us. It's the ultimate human story  of man's victory over his circumstances, his fears, his baggages, and his distractions, to become the most superhuman form of his own self. 

This is also a story of emotions & the resilience that comes inspite of (or because of) the emotional journey you’ve been through in your life. The emotion of being haunted (all your life) by the image of the horse-riders that slayed your entire family (which incidentally looked too similar to Frodo being chased by the Nazguls!). The emotion of being displaced from home and living like a refugee, while also dealing with the emotions of your sister, who is trapped & tortured in an unhappy marriage. The emotion of not being able to marry the one you love, the one you have waited for years to get together with. The emotion of being the star champion of the India team in the first-ever international event (Olympics 1956) but then failing miserably even before the event begins, just because of a momentary distraction (who can blame him for one beery pub evening in Melbourne!). 

The other reason why BMB works is because of its timing. It couldn’t have been a moment sooner. At a time, when every day the front page news reminds us of everything that is wrong with the country, here is a movie that reminds us of the things that are right, and what it takes to make it right, if it’s not. The good old fashioned Nike philosophy ‘just bloody do it’.

And ofcourse finally and perhaps as important as ROM in this movie is the man himself, Farhan Akhtar (I saved the best for last). Farhan is brilliant. He IS Milkha Singh in the movie, without an iota of doubt. He is not the urbane cool Aditya of Rock On. He is not the ambitious new actor Vikram of Luck By Chance. He is not the neurotic Karthik of Karthik Calling. He is not the fun-loving playboy of ZNMD. He is Milkha out and out. Even his six-pack (or 8-pack or whatever-pack) is Milkha and forms a part of the character he becomes,  of his determination, his perseverance & his sheer courage. Farhan puts out an exemplary performance, emoting as much with his face, as much as with his dialogues. You can see the pain on his face every time he remembers the partition massacre, you can see his love for his sister every time he is just near her (Divya Dutta, who also delivers an excellent performance), you can see the dogged rage on his face, every time he is challenged by the erstwhile Indian champion or by the Pakistani champion. In Farhan, Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra has found his alternative for Aamir. After being disappointed by Abhishek in Delhi-6 (just like we all were), ROM has found his alternate man.

The sound-track, by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy, while not the one to hum along in your car, works beautifully in the movie in lifting the movie. Where words feel incomplete in expressing the emotion of the moment (or when Sonam Kapoor inadequately tries to emote), the sound-track completes it and does the job.

There are a few things though that don’t work for the movie. One, is the length. It is a really long movie, and while it’s credit to the screenplay that it keeps you mostly hooked, it still is a story that could have been told in lesser time. The stretching angst of Milkha’s sister, could have been given less screen time (we still didn’t cry ROM, despite your best try!). Sonam Kapoor is also quite forgettable in the movie, which is a pity, since she has such a pivotal role to play in what makes Milkha. May be after Abhishek, ROM will replace Sonam in his next too! Some of the casting is distracting and reduces the impact of certain powerful scenes. Milkha’s dad (played by Pak-Brit actor Art Malik) who is massacred in the farm and is a central part of the plot, gives a weird middle-eastern over-acting performance that lessens the impact of that turning point moment. Also Dalip Tahil as Nehru is a terrible choice and instead of looking-feeling like Nehru, he looked like Dalip Tahil in white clothes. 

But, these distractions apart, it’s a must-watch movie for all Indians. ROM, you have delivered again and we are so glad you are back. We loved the crash-course in history. We loved the moments like finding out it was the Pakistani President that gave Milkha the name of Flying Sikh. We loved the setting and the periodicity to the movie, of a time we all have forgotten and taken for granted. 

No matter, how you enter the theatre for the movie, when you walk out, you walk out a Milkha fan... 

Go Goa Gone

Firstly, let’s get technically correct, shall we? Wikipedia has this to say:

Zombie: fictional undead creatures regularly encountered in horror and fantasy themed works. They are typically depicted as mindless, reanimated corpses with a hunger for human flesh.

Comedy: is a genre of film that is designed to elicit laughter from the audience; often through humorously exaggerated situations, ways of speaking, or action & characters.

Based on the above definition, Go Goa Gone is indeed a Zom-Com spectacle that is not to be missed. It’s a one-of-a-kind mad hatter movie, that can only be made by someone as mad as Saif, one of the few actors, possibly that still doesn’t take himself too seriously.

And that’s the beauty of this film. It doesn’t take itself or the audience too seriously. It makes no pretensions about what the movie is. They’ve promised a Zom-Com and a Zom-Com it is. Nothing more, nothing less. Period. 

So, anyone who gets grossed out by blood, please stay away. Anyone who is looking for meaning in the storyline & the plot, please stay away. Anyone, who lives in denial about youngsters smoking pot, getting laid & drinking themselves silly, please please definitely stay away (you could get really scared with that shit)

But, if you have a funny bone in your body, if you can leave your mind behind for one evening, if you can just let go and jump into the deep without expecting to come out safe at the other end, just for the ride, then this movie is for you. 

The movie is the story of 3 single guys (Hardik Luv Bunny - spoken together sound like a twisted Mills & Boons story) living in Mumbai, living the daily drudgery-getting-through-the-routine life that you live in Mumbai (you can tell I’m a Delhiite). Hardik (Kunal Khemu), pot-head loses his job & Luv (Vir Das), the trying-to-reform-pot-head loses his girlfriend & they latch on to their corporate friend-roommate Bunny (Anand Tiwari) for a free trip to Goa for Bunny’s life-altering presentation to senior management. The promise of a life-altering trip comes true in a different form when they attend an all-night rave party in a remote island, where they wake up to realise all except them (and a girl Puja Gupta) have turned into zombies on this island, due to a strange drug served at the party. What ensues is a hilarious escapade trying to dodge and kill zombies with the help of Boris, the zombie-slayer (Saif), till they finally escape the island.

Granted, that it’s no Delhi Belly. But comparing Delhi Belly and Go Goa Gone is as fair as comparing Aamir Khan and Saif Ali Khan. Two totally completely different worlds. The only thing Saif & Aamir have in common is their surname (so to that extent, yes, both movies are new-age youth-based random-events, bizarre plot & dialogue-based comedies) and the fact that both Aamir & Saif turned a new leaf in the iconic Dil Chahta Hai (and therefore, yes, both movies heavily inspired from Hollywood & a western-sensibility of humour & story telling). But otherwise, 2 very different movies. Delhi Belly was about the fast-paced forever evolving plot, the humour in the clever language, and the several tangential & random scenes that eventually become the highlight of the movie (see my review http://www.books-booze-boxoffice.blogspot.in/2011/08/delhi-belly-2011.html). In that sense, Delhi Belly was quite like Aamir - perfect and complete. 

Go Goa Gone is anything but - it’s neither perfect, nor complete. Or rather it is perfectly non-sensical and completely insane. It’s a series of funny dialogues happening while the protagonists are trying to stay alive amidst the onslaught of these bizarre creatures, while simultaneously enjoying the satisfaction of ‘killing dead people’ (as Boris calls out). And that’s why it’s great fun.

All the actors deliver fine performances and the discovery of the movie is Kunal Khemu who shows some really good comic timing, that matches Vir Das’s poker-face jokes. We can see Saif having a lot of fun in making and acting in this movie as Boris, who kills dead people, and sheds blood every few seconds, Tarantino style.

While the overall characterisation of the 3 lead protagonists was a little weak, with really no background to who they were, and what they are like, and the story-line doesn’t evolve beyond killing & escaping zombies, there are some priceless moments in the movie, that make it watching the whole movie worthwhile - like the scene when Boris gives them a visual signal of 2 incoming zombies & the guys interpret it as dumb cherades, or when Vir Das comes up with the idea of acting like zombies to escape them & succeeds till he notices his ex in the zombies and gives himself away, or even when they discover the solution to immobilise the zombies is nothing but good old cocaine (because 2 drugs never mix well - the zombie drug and cocaine!).

Again, while some of the scenes & dialogues were a little lame (like when they are trying to understand what these creatures are and they take a while to call out zombies and the lame reference to globalisation bringing them into India, or when Vir Das girlfriend dumps him reminiscent of Delhi Belly), there are priceless ones like when Hardik laughs at Luv’s virginity saying “Yeh kya petrol hai jo tu use bacha raha hai” or when Bunny questions Boris’s Russian credentials and he shouts out “Haan Dilli se Hoon Bhen***”

Fundamentally though, the reason why this movie is enjoyable and therefore should be watched is because, at the heart of it, it’s a movie about the ironic absurdity of life, especially our modern urban lives, when life’s biggest party transforms into life’s last party, where our day-to-day routine zombie-like existence comes face to face with it’s inevitable end at the hands of zombies, and where the very drugs that the young use to escape their reality become their most horrific reality. For this, Albert Camus would be proud of Saif for making this movie. 

All that apart though, Go Goa Gone is a brave attempt at building a unique sense of humour (zombie and that too a spoof) in our other-wise too-serious lives, in a country not known for its sense of humour. Walking out of the movie theatre, laughing away, you wonder to yourself... 3 guys, goa, party, drugs, zombies... was this for real? More where that came from Saif. Will be waiting...

Iron Man 3

“I'm Tony Stark. I build neat stuff. I got a great girl. And occasionally save the world”

“You can take screwdriver or any toys, but it's something no one will ever take from me.I am Iron Man”

Two lines from the movie, spoken by the inimitable Robert Downey Jr, kind of sum up what has turned out to be one of the fun-nest super-hero movies in recent times. If you enjoyed Avengers, Iron Man 3 will rock you once again.

So, how did Iron Man become the coolest super-hero of our times, for a generation that has grown up worshipping Batman, imitating Spiderman, and applauding Superman. Even the Hulk had a greater fan following. When did Iron Man trump these guys? This is what you’re wondering, as you walk out of the theatre, at the end of the movie.

Firstly, I think it’s the casting and the characterization of Iron Man, which is the biggest coup. For a relatively unknown super-hero to the masses, the canvas was wide open for Kevin Feige (producer) & Jon Favreau (director for Iron Man 1 & 2) to build nuances into a character that make him human and super-human at the same time. And then Robert Downey Jr playing the role in a way that only he can, just transforms Iron Man into someone who we can’t believe we didn’t know too well only 5 years ago (That’s right, Iron Man 1 came in 2008!)

Then (and perhaps more significantly) the one thing that is unique to Iron Man (and not so for the other super heroes) is the fact, that there is no secret identity. Can you believe that! A super-hero that everyone knows is Tony Stark, the big tycoon! That’s the most unnerving (for any super hero fan)and yet the most powerful aspect of Iron Man. He is as ‘dabaang’ as it gets. No hiding behind a regular-guy personality of Peter Parker, or Bruce Wayne or Clarke Kent or Bruce Banner. In fact, it is this very fact, that we know the regular-guy behind Iron Man, that makes him a super-hero. Strange and yet powerful.

In fact, the reason why Iron Man 3 is brilliant is because it blows this aspect of Iron Man into its ultimate and complete form. It’s Tony Stark’s story all the way - his insecurities and fear of losing his one true love, Pepper (“I have to protect the one thing I can’t live without, and that’s you”), his sleepless nights & periodic nervous breakdown, his story of the past that has created the villains for today, even his challenge to the evil terrorist The Mandarin (“I'm not afraid of you. No politics here. Just good old fashion revenge”) that becomes the raison de’ etre for the start of all the action in the movie - it’s all Tony Stark.

And yet, it is done in an Iron Man way, where the ‘man’ takes all of it on the front foot, without any soppiness (unlike the one you see in, say, a Spiderman movie). Yup, Iron Man may be a man (and therefore have his vulnerabilities) but he’s not going to sit and cry about it to millions of his fans (he’s made of iron from inside too). Like he says to the boy “Dads leave, no need to be a pussy about it”. 

It’s Tony Stark’s story in the movie, and it begins with a flashback, where Tony Stark remembers pissing off some scientists decades ago, laying the base for them coming back to get even with him today. Parallel sequence of events happening in current times with a terrorist (called the Mandarin, I’m sure the Chinese are not happy) is threatening to blow up American cities and the President. One such terrorist attacks mortally injures his friend and chief security officer, which leads to Tony Stark issuing a public threat to the Mandarin, actually giving his address on National Television. The Mandarin gets to his address before the fans do, and destroys his abode completely, nearly killing Tony and Pepper. Tony escapes & with long distance help from Jarvis (his A.I. assistant), he puts pieces of evidence together from similar terrorist attacks of the past, uncovering the secret behind the Mandarin and his humans-that-explode technology. Without his house, equipment or even his Iron Man suits, Tony Stark still manages to get to the source of the evil, expose the villain & saves the president, america, and the day (in the night).

The action sequences (especially when seen in 3D) are fantastic and full paisa-vasool. Tony’s house being destroyed, the exploding people going red n orange before going off, saving the White House staff thrown off from Air Force One, and ofcourse the final climax, where there is not one, but multiple Iron Men fighting on remote control. 

And the many new characters in the movie, spark off new interest and twists that add a lot of flavor to the irrepressible Downey - be it Guy Pearce as the menacing Aldrich Killian, Ben Kingsley as the terrorizing Mandarin, the abandoned-but-smart kid that gives Tony his second lease of life, Jon Favreau (Iron Man ex-director) as his chief security officer Happy Hogan, and Rebecca Hall as Maya Hansen (OK, she was quite forgettable, actually)

Throughout the movie, we see and hear Tony Stark as being not just Iron Man, but a whole lot more. It’s one super hero movie, where they keep reminding us that the hero is bigger than the super hero. In fact, there are many sequences where we see Iron Man & Tony Stark in the same frame, but separate from each other - be it when Tony is in bed with Pepper, or be in the final action sequence where many Iron Man suits fight independently of Tony. Further, we see while anyone can become Iron Man, by wearing the suit (Colonel Rhodes wears the suit, the bad guy wears the suit, the president wears the suit and even pepper wears the iron man suit!), there is only one Tony Stark, the hero, the super-hero

Shane Black (first time director of Iron Man series) totally rocks this film and creates a fast paced complete blockbuster entertainer.  And yes, we loved the references to the Avengers throughout the movie (“Nothing’s been the same since New York”). Thank You Mr Black. This is how super hero movies were meant to be.

Ek Thi Daayan

Ek Thi Daayan. This could have been the 'start' of a spine-chilling spooky story, as in "once upon a time there was a bloody witch". Or it could have been the 'end' of a thrilling and scary adventure, as in "and so it was the end of a bloody witch". Well, it was exactly that. Come to think of it, you can't blame the movie makers. The clue was in the name. Ek Thi Daayan was pretty much it - the beginning, the middle and the end, as in "once upon a time there was a bloody witch and so it was the end of the bloody witch". Kind of reminded me of our childhood rhyme, "Ek Tha Raaja, Ek Thi Raani, Dono Mar Gaye Khatam Kahani"

The story (if you want to call it that) revolves around Bobo (Emran Hashmi) the magician, who has a regular urban life, with a troubled past of a dead sister that haunts him. When his childhood psychiatrist puts him on the couch & hypnotises him to take him to the past, we see his flashback of the daayan that killed his family. Back in the present, the inevitable return of the daayan keeps haunting him, which lead to a series of non-events, new characters and brand new daayans, till finally he kills them all & saves the day.

Produced/Written by Vishal Bhardwaj would have stood for a highly engaging story telling with a potentially dark and twisted side. Produced by Ekta Kapoor would have also meant a certain plot and story telling, which while not profound, would be deeply entertaining. However, clearly when the two master story-tellers come together, they create a witch-potion that is not only ineffective at scaring you, but deeply insulting to the audience that is lost between the Christian notion of the devil and hell (aka omen's 666 symbol) and the Desi notion of Daayan and her choti, Pishaach and his gardan. 

It's bad enough that you have to suffer Emran Hashmi and his lover-boy marriage proposal of "I'm a tiger in bed", but then you have to sit through music and dance sequence of the likes of "tottey udh gaye, with everyone (including Bobo's psychiatrist who has just convinced Bobo that he is f***ed up in the head), and see the plot unfolding to the great climax scene of a devils party underground (no, really... It's literally underground - no metaphors in this movie - I think it was the minus 2 level, and yes you can press the lift button to get there), and it’s literally a party (one of the pishaach’s is actually seen with a glass of wine!), where all the daayan's and pishaaches are giving a human sacrifice of a child to please the devil. You could almost see the Ramsay Brothers having the last laugh at the audience, saying "and you thought our horror was crass" (Score 1 for Ramsays)

To give the movie it's fair due, it did have potential, not in the story line, or the dialogues, or the acting, or music or the directing, but in the way it started and built up in the first half till the interval. Bobo's childhood memory story of the Daayan who comes into his life and kills his family is quite engaging and in moments scary, thanks to Konkona's acting (by the way, what the hell was she doing in this movie), the child actor who plays Bobo delivers a convincing performance of a wanna-be magician child who believes in the fantasy world of witches and hell, a world that eventually comes true and destroys his life. The movie also has a sense of humour in the first half, like the name of the Daayan being "Diaana", where again you look for promise and potential in a style of narration that could be going somewhere.

But unfortunately, the interval ends and the movie continues to its fast decline into a sea of nothing happening except the Daayan kind-of coming back and kind-of trying to create havoc. Well mostly the Daayan doesnt have to even try hard. Bobo is obssessed and psychotic enough to keep running around every woman with long hair in knots, trying to cut it off (the hair) that keeps the commotion moving along (kyonki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi... I mean kyonki Daayan Ki shakti uski choti mein hoti hai!)

Ofcourse, the good thing for the characters in the movie is that this was happening in India, where we have a text book for everything, so "all you wanted to know about witches and the devil, but didnt know whom to ask" is there in a book called "Kaal, Dayan Aur Whatever". and thankfully, the daayans in the movie play by the book. So, you know how to spot them, know them, and beat them.

In fact, I think at the end of the movie, they did say its going to be available on book store, both iOS and Android. Because, you see, the movie was a modern movie (suck your face Ramsay brothers, Score 1 for Daayan) - no haveli's, and mahals, and green lands and forests. This is a bombay urban setting, in a bombay high rise building (read 4 floors in H.I.G colony in vile parle), with modern day young characters, who are 'living in', use mac books and iPhone, bring take-away coffee home, are planning to adopt a child even before getting married, and talk about watching porn.

Then ofcourse, there are these randomly created extra characters in the movie,like Bobo's childhood psychiatrist who spent 20 years convincing Bobo that he is a stark-raving lunatic believing in daayans et al, and then in one brief moment of seeing a page in the text-book, calls Bobo to say "Bobo you were right and I was wrong", just before meeting his inevitable doom at the hands of... You guessed it... Daayan. But, not before he says, what I think, is one of the most priceless dialogues in the movie "Bobo,Yeh kitaab padhke mujhe samajh aa gaya hai ki tumhaari jaan khatre mein hain". No shit Sherlock. He's been saying it for the last 20 years, reading the same text book (apparently still in the syllabus, not even a new edition).

Oh ya, and then there is Kalki Koechlin too, as Lisa Dutt, who seems to play the role of the fall guy for all Daayans. Much like Sanjay Dutt, I suppose. 

I think you finally give up on the movie (still too late I think) when Bobo before the  climax scene reads in the text book that there are 2 types of pishaach - good ones and bad ones! Kill me now is the thought that crosses your mind then. But then it finally dawns on you what the movie was all about. It’s not in what’s written in the text book, but in what Bobo does NOT read in the text book... Pishaach (or male daayans it seems) can be good or bad, but (women) daayans it seems are only bad. Thats when you get it, that this movie is a sequel to "Pyaar Ka Punchnaama". And then they also have the sense of humour to give the disclaimer in the beginning of the movie that the intention of this movie is not to show women in poor light!

So, all in all a neat little movie. Like I said, Ek Thi Daayan, Ek Aur Thi Daayan, Donon Mar Gaye, Khatam Kahani, pretty much sums it up.