Dhoom 3, 2013

Ten years is a long time. And in 10 years, we have seen a complete transformation of India - the economy (we are twice the GDP we were 10 years ago), the society (people living in cities has doubled), the politics (no one party can command a national vote bank), the entertainment (over 1000 films every year & over 300 TV channels today). I could say we live in an entirely different India today than we did 10 years ago.

Ask anyone and they will say that our world has changed. And yet somehow, the one movie franchise that, in many ways, marked the coming of age of  a stylised, Hollywood-ishtyle, cool action flick in Bollywood, has not. 

Dhoom 1 in 2004 was one of the coolest movies that Bollywood had made in a long time. You realise how cool the movie was when you think that you actually didn't mind even Uday Chopra and Esha Deol in it. The formula was simple: bikes, chases, heist, a cop who was cool (not pot bellied for a change) and a bad guy, who you equally rooted for. (The Tata Young song was just an icing on the cake). And oh yes, Abhishek Bachchan was cool then, too.

Dhoom 2 in 2006 also kept to the brief with bikes, chases, heist, cool cop, cooler bad guy, and amp'ed it up several notches - glam quotient with an almost-sexy Aishwarya Rai and pretty-boy Hrithik Roshan and epic locations like Rio and São Paulo 

Dhoom 3, in 2013, however falters for the same reason why Dhoom 1 and 2 worked. D3 did "stick" to the brief - bikes, chases and heist in an epic location like Gotham City (Chicago, in case you're wondering) with a glamorous babe (this time Katrina Kaif) and plenty of special effects and stunts. But as a result, it also got "stuck" in time.

Any movie buff will tell you that there are two unwritten rules for a tri-quel to succeed. One, if it is the 3rd in the series and there's likely to be more later, then it needs to break the formula for it to work. Essentially, the third in the series has to break away from its past for it to have a life of its own. Great example in recent times of this is Iron Man 3 (see my review
http://www.books-booze-boxoffice.blogspot.in/2013/05/iron-man-3.html )

However, if the 3rd instalment is the final episode in the trilogy, then the triquel needs to go back to the source of the first movie, like say The Dark Night Rises, or The Return of the King (LOTR) or Scream 3 (remember Wes Craven's awesome scary flick) or even Ocean's 13.

Dhoom 3, unfortunately does neither. It stays too close to D1 and D2, and just superficially adds on gadgets, stunts, smart dialogues and Aamir Khan, all of which feel unnecesssary, irrelevant and plain annoying, respectively.

The movie is about Sahir (played by Aamir Khan) who, after witnessing his father's suicide at the hands of a ruthless banker's rejection of a loan, vows to avenge him by robbing banks and using the money to re-open and glorify the "The Great Indian Circus" (his father's dream). He robs one branch after another (but only of the same evil Western Bank of Chicago, which is still headed by the same manager after 20 years!), scales up the show to great success and glory, recruits the gorgeous dancer-cum-assistant-cum-lover-cum-acrobat-cum-magician  Aaliya (Katrina), and even makes headlines as the mysterious crime-master "joker" (god bless Heath Ledger, may he R.I.P) who leaves behind signature messages (in Hindi, if you please!) in Chicago to the American police force and media. So far so good!

Then enters the cop from India Jai, (Abhishek Bachchan) and his side-kick Ali (Uday Chopra) who are specially brought in from Mumbai to Chicago to solve this crime that the FBI can't! While inspector Jai and Ali feel like the super-competent cops from India (they are even given a gori porn-star-turned-FBI-agent as their assistant), we know the only reason they are here is because nobody in FBI could really read Hindi.

Like every time, it becomes a personal fight between Jai and the bad guy, where the bad guy keeps getting away (with melo dramatic, James Bond like chases with stunt vehicles in land and water), till Jai discovers Sahir's mystery and how he is able to be in 2 places at once (tough to guess that one!). What follows then is an inevitable plot of traps being set (both emotional and real) by Jai, inter-twined by a love-story between Aamir and Katrina, that finally leads to Sahir surrendering and Katrina taking on the legacy to keep the magic show going on, for the love of her lover's father's love (!) (and I suppose for the big bucks the show was making)

It feels like Christopher Nolan was the brief, with copious "inspiration" from The Dark Night for the feel of Chicago and some action sequences (like the bike duel between Aamir and Abhishek and the bad guy calling himself The Joker, arrrgh!) and from Prestige, for the plot, the storyline, the surprise element and ofcourse the entire setting being that of a grand magic show on stage. But, nakal mein bhi akal chahiye, and you quickly find yourself apologising to Nolan, sitting in the hall.

Perhaps the real mystery could have been that it was all a communication mistake. Jackie Shroff (as Sahir's dad) can barely speak clearly anyway through his Bagpiper mouth. On top of that he tried to speak in English in a strange Americanised Indian English accent, trying to convince a banker on collateral, loans & on his financial credibility and assets. No wonder the poor banker didn't get what the man was ranting on and on about, till he finally shot himself! And then Aamir goes about seeking revenge, robbing banks and leaving messages in Hindi. Can you really blame the Americans for not really getting it! Imagine the torture we would have been saved if they only communicated in English.

So, why doesn't the  movie work you still ask? Well...

If Dhoom is about great action and stunts that get your adrenaline going, D3 action sequences are lame, been-there-done-that and too gimmicky to make a real impact. Dear Vijay Acharya (Director), slo mo does NOT make an action sequence wow! 

If Dhoom is about clever heists, not a single heist is shown in operation. You only see an Aamir biking away after robbing the same bank in the same way, with a trademark intense look.

If Dhoom is about cool dudes and dudettes, in a biker-gang, under-ground sort of way, then the casting bombs in a big way. Abhishek Bachchan looks like "has-been", trying too-hard to keep a straight face thru the dialogues, with some strange hair-thing going on his head that is distracting. Then there is Uday Chopra, a "never-been" with same dialogues of mummy and wanting to get married to the slutty chick in the movie, and with no hair on his head (what happened there Uday? Wait, we don't really care). 

But, finally there is the piece-de-resistance, the one thing that could have saved this movie, becomes the biggest disappointment - (and I never thought I'd say this) - Aamir Khan, the "been-there" guy. What happened dude? (And this we do care). Between the double role of the intense, clever, revenge-seeking Sahir and the clichéd mentally-challenged Samar (autistic Dustin Hoffman joke-of-a-copy from The Rainman), Aamir puts out a blooper. His muscled up body also doesn't make an impact on the character (unlike in Ghajini) and is just there as a show piece for everyone to clap to. He even stereo-types the 2 looks - one a frowned intense look (think Fanaa) and the other (brace yourself) - wide eyed with tongue sticking out! For someone who made Taare Zameen Par, you would expect a more real portrayal of a character that has a medical mental abnormality. Aamir, we'll put D3 in the box of your movies we quickly want to forget (like Fanaa and Raja Hindustani). When's your next one coming out?

The only saving grace (never thought I'd say this either) in the movie is actually Katrina Kaif, who comes as a breath of fresh air, and feels like (again never ever thought I'd say this) the only real thing in the movie. She plays the earnest starry-eyed new performer role well. She's really learned to dance and move like a diva and she puts that on display full-too. It's another thing that she was quite irrelevant to the main plot or story. Pity!

The music is the other big disappointment. Not one song is enjoyable or even hummable after the movie. Both D1 and D2 had good music that lived longer. And in D3, you feel bad at some nice glitzy performances in the movie (like the Aamir-Katrina stage flying act, and Katrina's solo locking-and-popping) that could have had a much longer-lasting impact, had it been performed on better music.

You realise how sad the movie really is at the climax scene, when you are supposed to be wondering if they will die or not, will they redeem themselves, will it be a happy ending, what will happen.. And you realise the only thing you really care about by that point, is how quickly can you get to the parking lot, so you don't get stuck behind other cars... 

I suppose all I can say...

"Bundey Hain Hum Uske, Hum Pe Kiska Zor

Is Movie Ne Humko Bahut Kiya Bhai Bore"