Do You Want Fries With That?

So, they are now delivering condoms directly to your home in Dubai. The news article says "SOS-Condoms: Delivery services are offered between 4 p.m. and 4 a.m. and costs $15 for a dozen condoms. Your request will be fulfilled within the hour and condoms will be hand-delivered by a "discreet and professional delivery team." 

I don't know if it's just me, but did anyone else think of these questions? Firstly (and may be most importantly): the delivery time of one hour! I can get a pizza in 30 minutes, if I'm hungry, but I have to wait for an hour if I've realised in the heat of the moment that I forgot to stock up. Either the Dubai dudes are such studs that they would put Don Juan to shame (an American service offers the same in 5 minutes - what losers!), or their calendars are planned days in advance. "So, 9-10pm Friday night, better call the delivery guy by 8pm latest. Secretary, could you dial 069, please!"

Also, clearly Dubai is a stickler for routine. Only 4pm to 4am, please. That's the allotted time, it looks like. When you go to get your booze licence, please take the  post card that lays out the schedule. Remember the weekend is Friday and not Sunday. Repeat after me: Saturday to Thursday, 4pm to 4am. For any morning activities, please contact your indiscreet and unprofessional doodh-waala.

The service is supposed to save you from the embarrassment of not having to get it at a store. Interesting that, because at least in a store you're an anonymous guy buying from an unknown shop keeper. This service uses location based technology to find out exactly where you're doing it and when you're doing it. All discreet & professional ofcourse.

Yup, it does feel like SOS service indeed - Delivery that ensures that it's Soon Over Sex!