What is it about coming-of-age movies that we just can’t seem to get enough? We’ve seen so many of them and we still keep coming back for more.
Boyhood, Reality Bites, Juno, Scent of a Woman, Dead Poet’s Society, Almost Famous, Dil Chahta Hai, Wake up Sid, and at some level, even our obsession with Spiderman, the super-hero version of the same genre, that has outlived the entire Avengers MCU!
It’s probably because these stories capture that one beautiful life stage in all of our personal histories that is filled with possibilities. At that magical time of our lives when the restrictions of being a child are just being unshackled, and the realities of adult life haven’t dawned on us. We no longer feel the powerlessness of childhood and we are just beginning to taste the independence of adulthood, and still without a care for responsibilities. That one time in our lives, when the world is ours to take, define, create, make, build and imagine. That one brief time in our lives when we are truly free. Free from time and space. Free from the burden of the past, or the expectations of the future. Free from our society, our relationships, and even ourselves. Free to define our identities in the way we want. Free to shape the future.
#TheTenderBar is a film about all this and more. And if you’re a sucker for these stories or if maybe you’re still living in this life stage in your minds, then this film is for you.
Based on the Pulitzer prize-winning writer J.R. Moerhinger’s memoir by the same name, set through the 70s and 80s, the film tells the story about coming of age of JR, an introverted child in a broken family, where after the father leaves them, moves with his mother to their grandfather’s home with the extended family. Despite getting love and all the craziness of the new family set up, he continues to grow under the shadow of the missing father, continuously haunting in his life as ‘the voice’ on the radio. The two most significant influences in his life then become the deep love and ambition of his mother (who wants him to become a lawyer from Yale) on one side, and more importantly, his uncle Charlie (brilliantly played by Ben Affleck), who runs their family-owned local pub, Dickens, in Long Island. This ‘tender bar’ then becomes the avenue for shaping his journey of growing up and transitioning to becoming a man, under the inspirational-yet-pragmatic guidance of his favorite ‘bar tender’. As he makes it to Yale, through his unrequited love story, and his career ups and downs, towards finally finding his calling in becoming a writer.
The story is not new. But, as always with films like this, it is how the story is told that makes an impact, once again reminding us of the power of good movie-making and impactful story-telling. Kudos George Clooney, the director. We can feel his touch of lightness, style, beauty, flow, emotions, and an understated optimism throughout the film. Ben Affleck does a great job of playing the key influence that shapes JR’s life, enough for us to forgive (though not forget) his Batman disaster. Daniel Ranieri as the young boy JR is brilliant in his innocent-yet-observant portrayal. And Tye Sheridan (seen in X-Men Apocalypse and Ready Player One) also does a really good job of playing the difficult role of young JR, an insecure and under-confident youth, trying to balance his talent, his calling, his reality, and his emotions. Christopher Lloyd (of Back to the Future scientist fame) as the grumpy old grandfather and the talented Lily Rabe (of TV fame) as the victim-yet-hopeful mother deliver memorable and poignant moments in the film. And finally, the soundtrack of the 70s and 80s throughout the film is a key player in the film, adding to the emotions and Clooney is a genius for using it well, as an aide to making us feel more with the film, more than what the words and the story could have ever done.
At the end of the day, we can analyze till we paralyze, but a good film is one that makes you feel something and that stays with you after you’ve walked out of the room. And this film hits the spot. What stays with us is JR’s emotional journey to becoming a writer. What stays with us is the life lessons of progressive masculinity that Uncle Charlie flawlessly delivers. The mood of the NY State of the 70s and 80s. The dysfunctional-yet-optimistic families of America. The rooting for the underdog. The kindness of friends and strangers. And most of all what stays with us is how the film makes us feel, and our own re-immersion into the coming-of-age of our own lives.
Watch it with a glass of wine in your hand, or your favorite Scotch, or maybe Dickens’ favorite gin martini, or watch it neat, but watch it when you have the space and time to feel once again that one time in your life when you felt free.
Time to order the book, because I think want some more of this…
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